"The Audition" scene lines


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ACTION SCENE

Irwin: (Flatly.) "Drop the gun, Harold, or whoever you are. We're onto you. It's over."

Jake: (Reading from the script.) "It's over alright, scum. For you! You're right, I'm not Harold. The name is Steel. Derek Steel."

Irwin: "Steel? Oh, no. Get him, men."

Producer: (Loudly.) And the battle breaks out!

After the fight scene is done:

Jake: "Hot lead is no match for the cold Steel."

After the car chase scene is done:

Jake: "A fast car nevers wins against nerves of Steel!"

ROMANTIC LOVE SCENE

Irwin: (Flatly.) "Oh, Steel. I've never met anyone like you."

Jake: "That's because there is no one else like me, babe. I'm the one and only."

Irwin: "Derek... do you think I could be your one and only?"

Producer: You lift her hand and kiss it gently.

(Jake unwillingly takes Irwin's hand and raises it, stopping it before he gets too close to it.)

Jake: "Velvet, I won't lie to you. I'll be gone in the morning. My life is too dangerous to make promises. But we have tonight. Just you and I under a diamond-studded desert sky."

Producer: You let go of her hand and gently brush the hair back from her eyes.

(Jake tries to do it without too much of his embarrassment showing.)

Irwin: "Only tonight? My love, my dearest... I must have you for a lifetime, not only a night."

Jake: "That will have to be enough. But we can make tonight last a lifetime."

Producer: You take Velvet in your arms.

(Jake reluctantly holds Irwin at arm's length. Irwin looks bored as he delivers his lines.)

Irwin: "Oh, Derek. How I've dreamed about this moment since we met on the yacht. I've seen only your eyes, heard only your voice in my mind."

Jake: "My darling Velvet... Of all the women I've loved, you make me feel the most deeply. Look into my eyes and let me see the depth of your love. I want to drown in the pools of passion that I see there. I want to make timeless love to you... I...

(Jake drops the pose and lowers the script.)

OFFICE CONFRONTATION SCENE

Irwin: "Steel, I'd like you to meet your new partner on this case."

Jake: (Referring to the script, he clears his throat, and stands taller as he begins delivering the lines. He points a finger at Irwin.) "Hold it right there, Brock. What's this... uh, stuff about a new partner? I prefer to work alone, you know that."

Irwin: (Looks up at him for a moment uncertainly, then delivers his lines.) "Not any more, Steel. Headquarters says you're too much of a loose cannon."

Jake: "That's a load of... baloney. I'm not called Lone Wolf for nothing. Forget it."

Producer: He turns to walk out of the door.

Irwin: "You walk out that door, Steel, you'll never work for the Bureau again!"

Jake: "Tell Headquarters that they can kiss... uh, kiss my foot. That idiot Breckenridge is a paper-pushing, um, bean-counting... uh... bureaucrat who can go to... uh, hades, before I'll take a... uh, dumb partner like the last one."

Producer: Uh, hold it a minute. Jake, you're changing the lines.

Jake: To be honest, Mr. O'Neal, I'm... uncomfortable with some of the language in it. I thought that I could just substitute something less offensive and still get the meaning across.

Producer: The swearing has to stay, to make the scene work. Your character isn't a Boy Scout, he's a seasoned field agent. Now read it again, with the lines done right.

Jake: (Reluctantly, he starts again.) "Hold it right there, Brock. What's this... what's this..."

(He stops and lowers the script.)