cardboardchrist

Synopsis: A sincere, but misguided fellow carries about with him a life-size cardboard cutout depicting Jesus, which he represents to others as his Savior. A parable about the way that some only trust in an image they have of the Lord, but don't know Him personally as their Savior.

Characters: Jerry, the guy with the Cardboard Christ. Alan, the person he approaches to share it with. (The character of Alan may be changed to that of a female if needed or desired. But Jerry's character has several gender-oriented jokes in the script so it needs to be a male, unless you change the lines to reflect the difference.)

Props: The upper part of a life-size cardboard cutout with a picture of Jesus on the front. Of course, you can make a smaller-scale cutout, of three feet high, if you wish. It's just a matter of drawing it on white foam-core board and cutting it out. (Details on where you can buy a life-size cutout of Jesus, as well as construction tips on making one yourself, can be found here.) Pocket New Testament. Newspaper. Wallet with small photo.

NOTE: The Cardboard Christ must be just that: a cutout, to make this skit work. You can't just pretend the guy is holding something and mime it; it has to be VISIBLE and in hand to work, or the performance will make no sense. Doing this as a cheat is a bad idea, don't ruin it by trying that.

And you can't use a real person either, in place of the cutout. This also totally invalidates the script premise and will confuse the viewer. Just draw a picture and glue it on some cardboard if you want, but make it a flat image and it will work. Don't fake it by miming or using a real person. Please. And if you try to, don't tell me about it.

Soundtrack: NOW AVAILABLE, on the Supplemental Skit Trax CD!

Although this script calls for very little in the way of music, basically an open and close, it is part of a CD that has soundtrack elements for scripts that don't warrent an entire CD by themselves. The CD has opens and closes, and certain effects, that can be used on the scripts that are not now a part of any Combo Package Soundtrack CD. It contains musical elements for about a dozen of these types of scripts! (Click here for a complete listing.) Order the Supplemental Skit Trax CD for $25 plus $1.50 shipping by clicking here or on the Soundtracks Page.

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Note: I am always looking for people to submit pictures they have taken while performing these skits. If you do this skit, and take a picture of your actors with the Cardboard Christ, I'd love to get a copy! I'll post it on the site, to inspire others who might be doing this script. Show off your work on the Submissions Page!

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(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #03, the skit open music.)

(Alan, newpaper folded under his arm, strolls casually onstage, hands in pockets, looking around and enjoying the day. When he comes to the bench he brushes it off with the end of the folded newspaper, the sits down in the middle of the bench with a contented smile.)

Alan: Ah, what a lovely spring afternoon. This is my favorite view of the duckpond.

(He observes the scene for a few moments, still smiling contentedly, then opens the newspaper.)

Alan: Finally, some peace and quiet. Maybe now I can catch up on the local news. (He begins to read.)

(After a few moments, Jerry walks onto the stage carrying the cardboard cutout under his arm, folded in the middle for easier handling. He has a teeth-showing smile pasted on his face constantly.

Spying Alan on the bench, he looks around to make sure there is no-one else coming to sit down there, then walks over to it.)

Alan: (Looking over the paper for a moment.) Not at all, go ahead! (He scoots over to the far side of the bench.)

(Jerry sits down, placing the cutout beside the bench, standing it on the folded edge. He waits a moment, still making sure the coast is clear. Then he brings up the cutout, opens it up and sets it down on the bench between them, revealing it to the audience for the first time. He nonchalantly puts his arm around the Jesus cutout to hold it in place, facing front but sliding his eyes sideways to see if the other fellow notices. He is still wearing the toothy grin.

Alan lowers his paper slightly and glances next to him, then raises the paper again. A few seconds later the paper slowly goes down again as it registers on him what he has seen! His eyes widen in surprise as he takes the sight in. Jerry sees his reaction and grins even wider, lifting a hand in a short "wiping-a-window" wave.

Alan is unsure how to react. He keeps the paper up halfway as if reading it, but he casts sidelong glances at the cutout and it's owner, who is still grinning and looking directly at him. Finally he decides to break the awkward silence, as his curiosity is getting the best of him.)

Jerry: (Brightly.) This is my personal Jesus. (He pats the cutout on it's shoulder.) Isn't he wonderful?

Alan: (Uncomfortably.) Riiight. But I mean the cardboard cutout of him. Why are you carrying it around?

Alan: (Raises his chin in a slow, understanding nod.) I... see. (He turns his head away from Jerry and rolls his eyeballs slightly at the nuttiness of the situation.)

Jerry: Hi. My name is Jerry. (Stretches out a hand across the cutout to Alan.) What's yours?

Alan: (Reluctantly taking the hand to shake it across the cutout's chest.) Uh, it's Alan.

Jerry: Alan! Great name, great name. Nice to meet you, Alan! (He leans back and crosses his legs, with his arm around the cutout.)

(Alan begins to raise the paper again to read, but stops and lowers it with slight irritation as Jerry speaks again.)

Alan: Oh, I just like to sit here and enjoy the fresh air, and read a little. You know, a little break, some... quiet time? (Stressing the words, he indicates the paper with a small shake and lifts it up to read, hoping Jerry takes the hint.)

Jerry: (Nodding broadly several times.) Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. Quiet time is important.

(With a small dismissive smile, Alan lifts the newspaper back up and begins to read.)

Jerry: (Putting his arms up and his hands behind his head. After a few seconds he speaks, but looking up or in front of him.) Yep, gotta have that quiet time, or you'll go crazy.

(Alan's fingers spasmodically grip the newpaper a little tighter, but makes no reply. A few more moments pass.)

(Alan lowers the paper slightly with a crumpling motion, as if restraining himself.)

Alan: (Tightly, he glares straight ahead as he answers.) There surely are. (He lifts the paper again, gripping it tightly and almost stretching it across his face as a barrier.)

(Alan's hands jerk in anger, ripping the newpaper down the middle, then he crumples it down in his lap with exaggerated patience. His eyes are wide with irritation but his voice is tightly controlled.)

(Jerry grins and slides over closer, pushing the cardboard cutout next to Alan. He misses the obvious anger and mistakes the attention as a sign of interest.)

Jerry: (Animatedly.) Oh, yeah. If I didn't have my Jesus here to talk to about everything, I'd flip out. I don't have many friends...

Jerry: (Continuing.) ...but Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

(Alan, folding the wrinkled paper, has given up on solitude and turns his attention toward Jerry for some amusement, with a grim smile.)

Alan: So, you take your... (Indicates the cutout pressing against him.) "Jesus" with you everywhere you go, huh?

Alan: What about on the bus? Do you have to pay his bus fare too when you get on?

Jerry: Well, I do have to pay for his ticket when we go there. I wouldn't want to leave him under the seat in the theater, he'd miss seeing the movie, and the popcorn and soda on the floor would get him all sticky.

Alan: (More amused by the minute.) That would be messy. Couldn't have your Jesus getting nacho cheese on his beard.

Jerry: Of course, I do have to take a pair of ear muffs when we go, I wouldn't want my Jesus to have to hear all that bad language. And sometimes I have to cover his eyes during the naughty parts.

Jerry: Well, no, that would be a waste of good money, to pay for a ticket and then not watch the best parts! (A beat.) I mean, why go see "Cheerleader Massacre Part 5," if you didn't watch to see lots of skin, and bloody murder?

Alan: Of course. What about when you go on a date, do you take your "Jesus" along, too?

Jerry: (Reluctantly, hanging his head.) Well, I haven't had any dates since I started taking my Jesus along with me...

Jerry: (A little downcast.) Well, when I have my Jesus around, I can't talk to the girls that I'd like to take out. He's so good, I guess they can't stand to be around him for long. Makes them feel sinful, I guess. When they see us coming down the street, or we try to sit next to them at the club, they run away.

Jerry: He does! They just don't love him. And I suffer persecution for his sake sometimes. "If they hated me, they will hate you also," my Jesus said, and it's true! (Sitting up with renewed vigor.) Once, I tried to introduce a girl I met to my Jesus, and she called me a crazy idiot, and even punched my Jesus in the face! We chased her down the street, yelling that my Jesus loved her anyway, and so did I, but she ran away screaming. The Bible says to "go out into the highways and the hedges and compel them to come in," but when she saw my Jesus and me hiding in her hedges one night she called the cops on me.

Jerry: She got a restraining order against us. Now when my Jesus and I go past her house we can't get within 50 yards of it.

Alan: Well! (Crossing his legs and clasping his hands around his knee.) Do you and your Jesus read the Bible together at night?

Jerry: Well, I used to read my "Bedtime Stories From the Bible" book, but once I found my Jesus, I figured, 'Well, my Jesus is the Word of God, and he's here with me, so what's the point of reading it any more? I have the Word in sight all the time!'

Alan: (Claps his hands together.) Makes perfect sense. Do you take him to church with you?

Jerry: Well, I did for awhile. But they asked me not to anymore. They said it was scaring people. Imagine that! A church not wanting my Jesus. So, we left. We've tried several other churches, but none of them make us feel welcome. I've come to the conclusion that none of them are really Christian organizations, so we quit going. After all, I have my Jesus, why do I need to go to church?

Alan: Why indeed? I'm beginning to understand why people wouldn't want to be around you.

Jerry: When you live as close to my Jesus as I do, it makes others uncomfortable. But, I still try to witness to them, and tell them the good news that my Jesus died for them and loves them.

Alan: I guess not everyone wants to hear that. (Indicating a jagged bite mark taken out of the cutout on the side near him.) What happened here? Looks like a bite has been taken out of it.

Jerry: (With a pained expression, he shakes his head sadly.) Oh, that's a terrible story.

Alan: (Smiling wickedly and clasping his hands together in supplication.) But it's one I'd so like to hear!

Jerry: (Reluctantly.) Well, it's an awful day I'd rather forget... but if you're really interested...

(Alan leans forward to listen with an elbow resting on his knee and his chin resting on his fist. He has a twinkle in his eye.)

Jerry: Well... it happened like this. One day, my Jesus and I were out doing some door-to-door witnessing. As you can imagine, not everyone is happy to open their front door and find my Jesus standing there.

Jerry: Well, after about a dozen slammed doors, and not a little verbal abuse, I don't mind telling you, I was getting a little discouraged. Then, I got the bright idea to bypass the front door, and sneak up to the next house through the back yard! I thought I might catch the people off guard, and get in a few words of the Good News, if they didn't have to come to answer the doorbell. But it turned out to be a bad idea... a very bad idea.

Jerry: (Wiping his eyes.) I'm sorry, it's... it's hard to talk about. (After a pause.) Anyway, I snuck around to the backyard of a nice home through an unlocked fence gate. I could hear laughter, and children playing. When I rounded the corner, I saw the family was having a cookout and pool party. A lady was just coming out of the pool when I leaped out and cried, "There's no need to fear, my Jesus and I are here!" Well, she reacted rather badly, and screamed, falling back into the pool with a huge splash. Her husband ran over to me with a set of long barbeque prongs and started jabbing me with them! All of the kids are crying, the woman is screaming about drowning, I'm getting stuck like a pig, my Jesus is getting smacked by one of their kids with a whiffle bat, and then the family dog attacks us!

Jerry: (Wringing his hands.) The dog gets ahold of my Jesus, and is biting, and snarling, and I couldn't get him to turn loose so I could get out of there! While the father is dailing the police I managed to snatch my Jesus from the dog's mouth, leaving a part of him behind. I also left behind a part of my pants in his teeth as I tried to get over the fence.

(Alan, with his elbows resting on his knees, has buried his face in his hands to hide his convulsive laughter. His upper body is shaking as he tries to hold it in and laugh silently.)

Alan: (Through his hands.) I'm sorry, that story is so moving I can't contain myself!

Jerry: (Almost sobbing, he wipes his eyes.) I know, I can't talk about it without breaking up!

Alan: (Wiping his eyes also, from laughing so hard it brought tears.) It had me breaking up too!

Jerry: I decided on that day to forget going house to house, and instead concentrate on one-to-one witnessing in public places. That's what I'm doing here today.

Alan: (Still catching his breath.) Well, Jerry, I can say one thing for you and your Jesus, it's interesting talking to you.

Jerry: (Surprised, this cheers him up a bit.) Really? Thanks. No-one's ever said that before, usually they ignore us or walk away.

Alan: Also, it's good to see someone willing to publicly make a stand for something they believe in. I think a lot of people who call themselves Christians try to hide their faith or apologize for it. But you're not ashamed of your Jesus.

Jerry: No, indeed. If I am ashamed of him, one day he would be ashamed of me. I couldn't stand to have that happen. (Looking back at Alan with a new intensity.) But here I've been rambling on about myself, but I haven't told you hardly anything about my Jesus. He's my best friend. Would you like to meet him?

Alan: (Leaning back and slapping his knees.) Sure! I'd love to hear him speak for himself.

Jerry: (Seriously.) Alan, I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God.

Jerry: Jesus, this is my new friend Alan. (He pauses and tilts his head as if listening to the cutout, then speaks to Jerry.) Jesus says he's very happy to meet you. He loves you and wants to be your friend too!

Alan: I have ears, Jerry. See them? (Points to them.) Right here on the side of my head. I heard you say it.

Jerry: I heard a radio preacher say that we who believe in Jesus are to be his mouth, and hands, and feet. So I speak for him, and hold things for him, and carry him places.

Alan: (Shaking his head, it's all finally become too much for him to continue making fun of.) Look, Jerry, there's something I need to tell you and I don't know how to do it without upsetting you...

Jerry: How could you upset me? With my Jesus with me, I can handle anything. Together, we're a majority!

Alan: (Rubbing his chin thoughtfully.) Hmm... let me put it like this. (He takes out his wallet, and removes a small photo from it, which he holds out to Jerry.) See this? This is my girlfriend, Patty.

Alan: (Feigning alarm, he snatches it back.) Look out! You're putting your finger into her eye!

Alan: (Petting the picture.) It's okay, Patty, he didn't mean it. (To Jerry.) It's not just a picture of Patty, it is Patty!

Jerry: (Looking at him askance, he scoots away and says after a pause:) You're weird.

Alan: (Nods.) You think I'm weird for saying this photo is actually my girlfriend... fair enough. If I really believed that, I would be weird. But what about your situation? Do you see the similarity?

Jerry: (Shifting uncomfortably, he grips the cutout a little more firmly, looking ahead as he answers.) No. I don't see what you're getting at.

Alan: (To himself, looking skyward.) So much for a subtle object lesson. Time for a more direct approach.

Jerry: (A little impatiently.) My Jesus wants to know if you want to receive him now.

Alan: (Getting serious, he leans over, looking at his hands as he rubs them together.) Uh, you know, Jerry, I can see you have a zeal for your savior...and I feel that you're really sincere about all this. I respect you for that, I really do. But after talking to you a little while, I have to say that I think you're... (looks up at him.) ...sincerely wrong.

Jerry: (Taken aback.) Wrong? But... I thought you wanted to accept my Jesus as your savior, too!

Alan: (Directly, with a sigh.) Jerry, I hate to tell you this, but this Jesus of yours isn't real. He can't hear, or feel, or speak.

Jerry: (Taking offense, his voice rises.) He is too, real! Here! Thrust your hand into the wound in his side. Feel the nail prints in his hands! (He pushes the cutout aggressively toward Alan's face, causing him to lean back with a grimace.) Be not faithless, but believing, you doubting Thomas!

Alan: (Pushing the cutout away from his face.) Your faith is misplaced, Jerry. This flat piece of paper is worthless except for it's recycle value!

Jerry: (Jumping up in anger, holding the cutout with one hand and pointing at Alan with the other.) Blasphemer! My Jesus will send you to hell for that!

Alan: (Also standing.) No, he won't. Your fake Jesus can't even walk by himself!

Alan: I didn't say that Jesus is a fake. I said this is a fake Jesus! (Grabs the cutout by the edge.) Look! It's nothing but corrugated cardboard with a printed cartoon picture on it!

Alan: (Tugging on it with both hands.) This is for your own good, man! Give up this nonsense. You're making a fool of yourself when you walk around with this stupid thing!

(With both of them pulling on it one last time, the cardboard rips in half, leaving each of them holding a part of it!)

(Jerry looks down at his half in shock, mouth gaping open and eyes wide. There is a silence as he tries to grasp the enormity of what has happened. Then, he screams!)

(Jerry breaks down crying, holding the piece of cardboard in his arms, sinking to the ground.)

Jerry: (In tears, he looks up at Alan.) Look what you've done! You Judas! (Hugs the ripped cutout in his arms as he looks down at it. ) Look what you've done.

Alan: (Gently.) I'm sorry. Jerry. Really, I didn't mean to rip it. But this has to prove to you to that this Jesus wasn't real. (Putting his half on the ground beside the bench, he kneels beside the sobbing Jerry and taps the cutout piece.) Look, it's not dead. It was never alive. There's no need to grieve over it.

Jerry: (Wiping his eyes with his sleeve, he sniffs and wipes his nose with it also.) That's easy for you to say. You haven't just had your faith destroyed.

Alan: It was a misplaced faith, man. It would have done nothing for you. I just tried to help you see that.

(Laying down the ripped half beside the bench on the other half, Jerry then gets up and sits down on the bench dejectedly.)

Jerry: (Leaning over with his head in his hands.) Thanks a lot, man. You're a regular Mother Theresa. What do you want, a medal?

Jerry: Listen to you? Listen to you? Why should I? So far, you've torn up my Jesus, you've debunked my faith, and showed me he wasn't ever real. I'm completely disillusioned. If I keep listening to you, I might just kill myself! (Crosses arms and pouts.) Happy now? I hope so. I really, really hope you're happy now. Why don't you go snatch some candy from a baby or something and get a real thrill?

Alan: (Gently.) Jerry, I'm not trying to shatter your faith, I just want it to be placed in the real Jesus.

Jerry: (With surprise.) I didn't think you believed in Jesus! You said he wasn't even real!

Alan: I do believe. Jesus is real, but this piece of cardboard wasn't really him. Where did you get that thing, anyway?

Jerry: It was part of an advertisement for last summer's Vacation Bible School class. They were going to throw it away but I found it, and saved it.

Alan: Well, there you go. You fell in love with an image of Jesus, not the actual person. And it was someone else's image, not even yours! Merely a promotional gimmick.

Alan: It's like when someone... (Makes "air quote" marks.) ..."falls in love" with a movie star. They're infatuated with an image of them, that others have carefully crafted and projected for their own money-making purposes. But they've never met the real person, and they certainly don't have a relationship with them. It's not real love based on a personal knowledge, and time spent with them. It's make-believe, a fantasy.

Jerry: Okay, that makes sense. I heard a lot about the Lord, and I wanted to get closer to Him. But I didn't really know how to go about doing it.

Alan: A lot of people are the same way. They've heard about Him in sermons, maybe they've seen a movie about Him and even moved to tears by seeing how He suffered. But all they know is what they've been told, they don't really know Him. All they have is a two-dimensional perception of him in their minds that they hang on to, not the real person.

Jerry: (Standing, walking forward slightly and rubs his chin thoughtfully.) So all this time I was trusting in a Jesus that wasn't the real one?

Alan: (Also standing, he comes up to stand slightly behind him at his shoulder.) Exactly. But you're not alone. Quite a few other people believe in a fake, or false Jesus. They have accepted someone else's version, but he's not the one revealed in the Bible and preached by Paul and all the apostles. This "other Jesus" may be a respected prophet, or an incarnated angel, or one that denies and usurps the Trinity. There's no end to the deceptive representations. But, even if the Jesus being preached is the true one, the resurrected Redeemer, God Incarnate come in the flesh, there's a difference between believing in Jesus, and believing on Jesus. The difference is in knowing about Him as the Savior, and actually knowing Him as your Savior.

Alan: (Taking a small New Testament out of his shirt pocket and holding it up.) Christ is revealed to us in the Bible, and the Bible is opened up to our heart by the Holy Spirit. All we have to do is believe on Him and invite Him into our hearts as Savior.

Alan: We talk to Him through prayer! We learn about Him, and hear His voice, through His word. His Spirit then brings it to our mind as we need it. So it is a two-way communication, for sure!

Jerry: But, I want other people to see Him when they look at me! That's why I carried the standup. Now that it's trashed, how can they see Him?

Alan: That's a good desire, but that's not the way you do it. If you want people to see Jesus, let them see Him in you! It's His ultimate purpose to recreate you, day by day, in His image. So, the closer you get to him, the more like him you'll become.

Jerry: Wow, that sounds great. I know I have some problem areas in my life that aren't getting any better. And, with the Lord in me, changing me from within, maybe people won't run away when they see me coming, like they have been!

Alan: I have to admit, you were a bit un-nerving. I knew the Lord, and you still made me uncomfortable with your cardboard Christ! That whole thing made your witnessing efforts fall a bit flat.

Jerry: Yeah, I can see how it might have been a bit off-putting. I was really dependent on my religion crutch, and I guess I had a tendancy to hit people over the head with it!

Alan: (Reaching out to grasp his shoulder.) It's time to let go of the image, Jerry, and embrace the reality.

Alan: (Gesturing with an outstretched hand offstage.) Tell you what, let's take a little walk through the park as we talk.

Alan: (Clapping him on the shoulder with a grin.) I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God.

(They go offstage, as Alan opens the New Testament, pointing out a scripture to an interested Jerry as they leave and their voices fade and the Close Music comes up, ending the skit.)

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