How Nick Became A Saint

Synopsis: A department store manager gets word that his regular "Santa's helper" (referred to as such because his own kid is in the office) can't make it so he drafts a store employee to fill in the red suit for the day. The hapless fellow is abused, threatened by a bully kid, barfed on, insulted, given demands, etc. and is ready to throw in the red hat when a little girl comes to see him who wants nothing for herself, only that "Santa" get saved and be happy this Christmas. She witnesses in a simple way and leads him in a sinner's prayer, after which he is truly jolly.

Characters: The Narrator Angel. Nick, the main character. Mr. Boyle, the store manager. Ronnie, his kid. Kid #1, with the list. Kid #2, the crybaby. Kid #3, the disillusioned brat. Angela, the little girl. Various extras in the role of parents.

Costumes: Nick is dressed casually, then in a cheap Santa outfit. Mr. Boyle wears a suit. The Narrator Angel should wear all white, or a white robe and sandals.

Props: Cell phone, box of decorations, empty wrapped boxes, stack of printed pages for the kid's wish list. Small gospel tract. (Note: you can print out the children's Christmas story this tract is supposed to contain here, and tape it into the pages of the tract, so that the actor playing Nick can read from it when the script calls for him to.)

Soundtrack: As always, the specially-recorded soundtrack will make your performance of this skit script much funnier, professional, and effective. All of the music and effects called for in this script, cuts #1-6, are on the Combo Package #9 Soundtrack CD, along with "Crisis on the Holiday Helpline" and "New Year's Eve at the Bad Habit Club." You may order it now for $20 plus $1.50 shipping on the Soundtracks Page, or add it to your shopping cart by clicking here.

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Notes: The parts of the kids may be played by teens if desired or needed. It does look funny with teens playing and acting like kids! If you have actual kids that can do the parts of the children, that's even better. The little girl Angela, in particular, is in important part, and care should be taken in chosing the child to play the part if it is done by an actual little girl, rather than an older teen.

Also, keep in mind the ages of the audience when deciding if, or where, to perform this. Smaller children may miss the fact that a person is filling in for Santa, and may be disillusioned if they believe in him. Their parents may in turn not appreciate that happening. The skit is written to avoid this, with the manager taking pains to avoid saying it outright around his son. This will take care of most of the concern, but once again, smaller children will probably not grasp this, and take it for what they see. So choose your audience carefully!

(Begin Cut #1 of the soundtrack CD: the Skit Intro music. "Deck the Halls," followed by "Angels We Have Heard on High." The song plays at full level for a few bars, then lowers in level. This is when the actor begins speaking over it.)

(Walking on stage, the Narrator Angel seems to be taking his time as the intro music plays. He looks over the decorations, moves his hands as if directing a few bars of the Christmas carol playing, and is smiling.)

Narrator Angel: I love Christmas. It's the one time of the year when Earth seems the most like Heaven!

(He stops by the chair that Santa sits in and looks at the audience. His face grows a little sad.)

Narrator Angel: Unfortunately, too few take the time to invite the Child that was in the manger, into their hearts. They've posted a "no room" sign over it as surely as the inn owners in Bethlehem, and the Lord is left outside. I think often about the joy that people miss by seeking to fill their holiday with things, instead of His love.

(He soberly pauses in a moment's reflection, then brightens again with a grin as he looks back up.)

Narrator Angel: But that's why I'm here. The thing I enjoy most about my assignments at this time of the year is making sure that people do hear the Lord knocking. Whatever it takes! And that's where the fun comes in. Take this fellow, for instance.

Narrator Angel: He loves Christmas, but, like so many, the secret of keeping the joy of the season eludes him. He doesn't understand what he's missing. But I do! He's my assignment today.

(Nick begins to place garland and decorations on the artificial tree to the right side of the throne area.)

(Soundtrack note: About here the music from Cut #01 is finishing and fading out.)

Narrator Angel: Now, for most of the rest of this story you won't see me. I'll be "behind the scenes," as it were; just like most of the time. But you'll see what happens when I work, by the direction of and with God's Holy Spirit, at preparing a life to hear the voice of the Christ of Christmas.

(He walks off stage just as the store manager, Mr. Boyle, walks rapidly onto it, talking on a cell phone.)

Mr. Boyle: Uh huh. Uh huh. So what you're telling me is, that he can't make it because you can't raise the bail. Uh huh. You want ME to pay it? You must think I'm Father Christmas! (listens) We pay him more than he's worth. Why, I could do it as well as he could if I had the time and patience! (listens) I'm fat enough!?!? Why you... listen, tell the jolly old elf not to worry about coming back here looking for work next year!"

(Nick walks offstage to get some packages to go under the tree, as the manager shuts the lid of the phone in disgust. He passes a seven year old boy, his son Ronnie, who is walking onstage.)

Mr. Boyle: Uh... just a floor clerk that called in sick. Nothing to worry about, son! Why don't you go to the toy department and pick out something nice to play with while I work?

Mr. Boyle: (Walking over to and looking at the empty chair, he adds softly:) Nothing for you to worry about, anyway.

Mr. Boyle: The store is about to open on Christmas Eve, and I have nobody to sit in this seat. Here I am, the kindest, warmest, most generous manager this store has ever had, and where does it get me? In a bind! There's nobody I can spare to do this.

(Just then Nick walks back onstage balancing an armload of boxes. He is slowly trying to make his way to the tree. The boss notices his careful steps and yells at him, making him jump.)

(Instantly begin Cut #2 on the Soundtrack CD: "Package Destruction" music. This bit of music comically highlights the action, which should end about the time the music does.)

(Nick is startled, dropping the packages everywhere and falling on them. The manager jumps out of the chair, bellowing.)

Mr. Boyle: You fumbing, bumbling, stumbling, reckless, clumsy blockhead! Look at the inventory you just destroyed!

(Nick apologises profusely and tries gathering up the boxes but they keep dropping among the sounds of crashing and smashing. He is slipping and falling on them and smashing them flat as he keeps trying to get it together.)

(The manager has grabbed the hair on either side of his temples and is screaming.)

(Nick is made more nervous by all this and keeps dropping them, until the manager gathers up the dropped boxes and deposits them under and around the tree. He comes back to pick up one smashed box and hands it to Nick.)

(The manager opens his mouth to reply a smart aleck comment when his kid comes back onstage with a toy.)

Ronnie: (Shouting.) I'm back, pop! (He sits down beside the stage and plays with the toy.)

(He spins and leaves the stage, leaving Nick to stand in a daze. The kid looks up from his toy.)

Nick: I think somebody up there is trying to tell me something. I just wish I could tell what it is.

(The manager storms back on the stage with a large bag. Part of a Santa hat and suit can be seen in the top of the bag.)

Mr. Boyle: Yeah, but that's ancient history, I'm talking right now, and right now you're the closest thing to a chance I've got.

(The manager is suddenly all smiles, and puts his arm around Nick's shoulders as he stands.)

Mr. Boyle: Nick, my boy, you might just bail me out of a fix here. The guy that plays... (He suddenly looks over at his kid playing nearby and changes his tone.) That is, the... uh, "Santa's helper" that's supposed to be here couldn't make it today.

Mr. Boyle: He got smashed and busted... (Sees the kid edging near him and revises it loudly.) I mean, someone smashed into his sleigh and busted up his sleds, so he's not able to make it.

(At Nick's puzzled looks the manager jerks his head toward his kid and motions with his eyes.)

Nick: (Noticing the kid) Oh, okay. Boy, who are you going to get to fill his boots?"

(The manager reaches into the bag and pulls out a Santa hat, placing it on Nick's head.)

(Nick looks stricken and crosses his eyes as he looks up narrowly at the fur of the hat on his brow.)

Mr. Boyle: You're a natural, Nick! Hey, your name is Nick! St. Nick, get it? It was meant to be!

(He looks at this watch and yells offstage.) It's 8, open the doors and let 'em in!

Nick: (Doubtfully.) I don't know, Mr. Boyle. Don't you need some kind of training to do this?

Mr. Boyle: (Grabbing his hand and shaking it.) Training's over, you graduated! Congratulations, St. Nick!

(As he leaves to change, a small crowd of kids and their parents rush onstage and line up to one side, the kids screaming with anticipation. Mr. Boyle holds up his hands and announces "Excuse me" loudly as he tries to get them to listen. After a few tries they quiet down enough for him to speak. This should coincide with the end of the last bit of music, which has comically underscored the excited crowd's entry.)

Mr. Boyle: May I have your attention, please! Welcome to Santa's Magic Workshop, everybody! Santa has been delayed a few minutes, but will be here shortly.

(The kids all whine loudly in disappointment, and the parents grumble. One lady grabs her kid's arm and begins to pull him out of line.)

Lady: (loudly:) Let's go to the store down the street, I don't have time for this!

(This worries Mr. Boyle and he reaches into a pocket and brings out a sheaf of paper slips, holding them up.)

Mr. Boyle: To make up for your inconvenience, here are some coupons for thirty percent off on this year's hottest toy, "Beat Me With A Stick Elmo!"

(Begin Cut #4 on the Soundtrack CD: "Manager Mobbed" which is a short reprise of the previous entry music.)

(The parents in the crowd scream and rush the manager with one accord, and he-with a terrified expression- runs offstage with the frantic parents in hot pursuit. Their quick exit is underscored by a short reprise of their entry theme. Their kids remain in line.)

1st Kid: (After a moment, looking around.) Hey, what's takin' the fat guy so long? I ain't got all day here!

3rd Kid: (Angrily.) He better show up soon, or I'll put arsenic in his milk and cookies this Christmas!

(Finally Nick, in the Santa suit, rushes on stage, then slows down as he sees the kids, who start yelling at his appearance. He stops, panicky, but finally gets the courage and walks the last few steps to the chair, waving weakly.)

1st Kid: (Walking up to him.) About time, chunky! Where ya been, cooking one of your reindeer for breakfast?

1st Kid: Yeah, yeah, whatever. (He holds up a sheaf of papers.) He's my list. You better check it twice.

1st Kid: Forget that. (Hands him the papers.) To save you time, I've printed out this categorized checklist of what I need. (Showing him the individual pages.) See, the electronics are on this page, the games on another, DVD's on another, and so on. (Tossing the list on his lap.) There ya go. Don't miss anything, tubby, or I'll be back next year with a stun gun.

Nick: (Looking at the list, he lifts a hand to wave as the boy leaves.) Uh, well.... Me-e-e-ry Christmas!

1st Kid: (Waves him off as he is leaving.) Aw, stuff a stocking in it, blimpo.

(Setting aside the list, he shakes his head in amazement, then waves the next kid to come up.)

Nick: (Motioning.) Don't be afraid, Santa won't hurt you! Come on up and sit on my lap.

Nick: Bad Santa? Ho, ho, ho! Of course not, Santa is good! And he loves little children like you.

Nick: (Making a face.) What kind of movies has your momma been letting you watch? No, of course not. I want to bring you some nice things.

2nd Kid: Not for me, for you. (Waving his hand in front of his nose and leaning back, making a face.) Your breath smells bad!

Nick: (Taken aback.) My breath...? Really? (He breathes into his hand and sniffs.)

Nick: (Embarrassed.) That's enough from the peanut gallery. Okay, kid, what do you want?

2nd Kid: (Breaking out into tears.) I want my mommy!!!! Waaaaaaaaa! Mommy! Santa's breath is making me sick!

Nick: (Setting the kid down.) Look, kid, here's a candy cane. Go find your mommy and let her take you shopping for a nice toy.

2nd Kid: I'm gonna frow up! (He makes a barfing sound and leans toward Santa.)

Nick: (Muttering to himself.) I am definitely not getting paid enough for this. (Looking back at the kids in line.) Okay, no harm done, all cleaned up. Come on up to see Santa! Ho, ho, ho!

3rd Kid: The suit looks yucky. It's thin and it smells like mothballs. The real Santa has a nice suit. I saw it in the movies.

Nick: (A little peeved.) Look, I'm as real as he gets. Now, what do you want for Christmas?

3rd Kid: You see me when I'm sleepin', you know when I'm awake, so what's my name?

3rd Kid: See? If you was really Santa Claus, you'd know who I am! (He pulls the fake beard away from his face and lets it snap back.) I knew it! (Raising his voice.) You're a fake! A crummy, cheap fake!

Nick: (Looking around nervously.) Let's keep it down, sonny. Look, here's a nice candy cane.

3rd Kid: (Jumping off Nick's lap, he confronts him angrily.) You ain't nothin' but a phony! My momma's gonne sue this store for everything they got!

Nick: (Standing.) Let's not upset the other kids, little fella.( He puts a hand on the kid's shoulder.) Why don't you go look around in the toy aisle, okay?

3rd Kid: Don't touch me, you flaky faker! (The kid punches Nick in the stomach, doubling him over. Then he kicks him in the shins, making him hop and fall back in the chair.)

Nick: (Holding his shin as the kid runs off.) O-o-o-ow! You little monster! I'm gonna have Rudolph leave you something special in your stocking!

(The boss walks up, concerned. He takes Nick by the elbow and pulls him off to the side, away from the chair.)

Nick: I've had it, Mr. Boyle! I'm throwing in the red hat. I'm not cut out for this type of work.

Mr. Boyle: You can't do this to me, Nick! I need you here. Santa is a symbol of everything that makes this season great.

Nick: Maybe so... but I'm losing my Christmas cheer. I'm not sure what kind of symbol he is right now.

Mr. Boyle: He stands for selfless giving, right? He makes people want to give. And to give, they gotta buy. And when they buy from me, I'm cheerful. When I'm cheerful, you're cheerful... and still employed. Get it?

Nick: (Darkly.) I get it. To you, Christmas is all about the money. That's the only thing you care about.

Mr. Boyle: It ain't the only thing, just the main thing. (He pushes him back toward the chair.) Now get back over there and take care of business.

(He slumps in the chair and lifts a hand listlessly to the last kid waiting patiently in line.)

Angela: (Sitting on his lap and looking up at him with an angelic face.) Hi, Santa! My name is Angela.

Nick: (Looking at her more closely.) Happiness? I'm sorry, little girl, but Santa can't give happiness. Only things.

Nick: That's right. So you see, I can't give you something I don't have to give.

Nick: Honestly? No, not really. I'm sorry, but these other kids have made me sad.

Nick: (After a pause.) That's sweet, honey. You're the first that didn't want something for yourself.

Angela: Well, Christmas is about giving, and I want to give you something so you'll be happy.

Little Girl: It's a Christmas story. It makes me happy when my mommy reads it to me, so I want you to have it. Will you read it to me one last time?

(Begin Cut #5 on the Soundtrack CD: "Christmas Storybook and Nick's Salvation," as he begins to read.)

Nick: (Touched.) Of course. (He opens the booklet and reads.) "Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a country far away, a wonderful thing happened. And do you know what that was?"

Nick: "A little baby was born. But not just any baby. This baby was very special. He was God's own Son. He came from Heaven as God's gift to the world. An Angel told his mother to expect Him, and what to name Him. And do you know what His name was?"

Nick: (Smiling.) You're right, it was Jesus. (Continues reading.) "Little Jesus came from Heaven to be a baby like one of us. You see, all of us had done bad things, so we couldn't go to heaven to see Him, where there are no bad people. So He came down to us, and He was good all the time."

Nick: (Thoughtfully.) You may be right. (Reading some more.) "No-one would make room in their inns for Mary and Joseph, so the baby Jesus was born in a little animal barn. That was the first Christmas. And the angels sang with happiness, "Glory to God in the highest! Peace on Earth, Goodwill to men!"

Nick: Me, too. "And an angel said to some shepherds, 'Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.'"

Nick: Well, Angela, I think it's this: The joy, or happiness, that they were talking about, was that Jesus came to save people from being bad, so they could be in Heaven with Him.

Nick: (Lowering his head.) I'm afraid I've been like the people at the inns. I've never let Him in.

Angela: When my mommy read me the book, it had a prayer at the end for little kids like me. Would you pray it with me like she did?

Nick: (With feeling.) I'd like that, Angela. "Dear Jesus, thank you for loving me enough to come from Heaven. I want to be saved. Please come into my heart. Save me and take me some day to live forever in Heaven with you."

Angela: (Hugs him tightly.) Hooray! That makes me happy, too. Merry Christmas, St. Nick!

(Soundtrack Note: The music from the last track should be ending about now, if not a little earlier.)

(She runs off stage with a wave. Nick lifts a hand wistfully and waves as she leaves.)

Mr. Boyle: Nick! You did great! Thanks for helping out in a tight spot. I wouldn't have blamed you for refusing to do it after I got mad and fired you.

Nick: (Standing.) Glad I could help. And I'm glad I did it. Sometimes the best things happen when things look the worst.

Mr. Boyle: I've found a replacement for our missing Santa. He's really good with the kids, and he's changing right now in the back. Since there's no-one in line right now, how about you go on back and change out, and take the rest of the day off with pay.

Mr. Boyle: Don't mention it. (He grins.) After all, it is Christmas Eve. Being Santa and all, you've got a lot to do!

Nick: (Also grinning.) You're right. I'd like to start the giving with this. (He puts the tract in Mr. Boyle's hand.) It's the Christmas story... your son might enjoy you reading it to him tonight.

Mr. Boyle: (Looking at it, he replies with warmth.) Thanks. I think he will. And I think I will too.

Nick: (Stopping for a moment, he smiles and speaks to himself) Saint Nick. I like the sound of that!

(The Narrator Angel walks on stage from the other direction at the same moment as Nick is walking off singing. He is wearing a big smile.)

(Begin Cut #6 on the Soundtrack CD: ""Skit End." It begins softly playing under his lines, and then fades up at the end for a big finish. Practice the timing here carefully to know when to start the music so that it times out right.)

Narrator Angel: So, that's the story of how Nick became a saint. There goes a guy that's found the real joy of Christmas. I think he's learned that it's much better to be a saint than a sinner. (He claps his hands together in satisfaction.) Well, that's one mission accomplished, thanks be to God. On to the next! Fortunately, we angels can take many forms to accomplish our work.

Narrator Angel: You know, leading someone to Christ is the best present you can give them. And another soul is the best present you could give to the Lord. So try it! Celebrating with joy over a repentant sinner isn't reserved just for us angels. You can share in it, too. (He waves to the audience as he walks off stage.) God bless you all, and Merry Christmas!

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