Terror of the Tell-Tale Talent

Synopsis: A fellow, asked to direct a church play, declines due to a lack of faith in his ability. Later, while napping, an angel visits him in a vision and takes him to the Cemetary of Buried Talents. There he is confronted not only with the reality of what he has done with the talents the Lord gave him, but the cost in human terms as well. Horrified at the prospect of being responsible for souls being lost, he repents and immediately begins to take an active role in the church. Running 8 to 10 minutes, this skit could be done as a major production with complete set creation and decoration, or minimalistic with a few set pieces. Ideal for October and Fall Festivals, this could be part of an overall program. Of couse, it could be done at any time of the year as well.

EXTRA!!! Download a large poster image to use in your advertising for the play! (Once you have loaded the image in your browser window, right-click on it with your mouse and save it to the folder of your choice.)
Color Version, Black and White Version #1 with background, Black and White Version #2 with no background.

Characters: Stanley Tallman, Pastor Hill and his wife, the Angel Messenger, and 6 or 7 extras in the role of the Lost Souls.

(Note: If preferred or neccessary, the part of Stan may be played by an actress and changed to a female name and character.)

Costumes: Stanley is dressed casually. Pastor Hill can wear a suit if preferred, and his wife, Sister Hill, is similarly dressed up. The Messenger Angel is in a white robe or outfit. The Lost Souls are dressed in tattered, dark rags and robes, and are all barefoot. They are chained together with a length of black plastic chain (found at any hardware or building supply store.)

Props: TV remote, telephone, shovel, the plastic chains. Cardboard or styrofoam tombstones, as many as desired.

Setting: On one side of the room is a couch and end table with lamp. A curtain or cloth should be strung up behind the couch covering the rest of the stage, to be drawn back when cued. Starting just behind the couch, and taking up the rest of the stage, is a cemetary set. (Note: Here is a GREAT new item that can serve as the backdrop for the cemetery set! Inexpensive and easy, it will help set the stage. Link opens to another site.) Fake tombstones of all sizes, and dead tree limbs for trees, make up the set. Toward the center is a card-board or styrofoam facade of an above-ground crypt, with a door. A regular door entrance already in the room can be used, though. Make it as spooky and atmospheric as possible with subdued colored lighting. A fog machine would be very helpful in setting the mood.

Music and sound effects: This skit is very dependent on the pre-recorded soundtrack. See the following:

Soundtrack: As always, the specially-recorded soundtrack will make your performance of this skit script much funnier, professional, and effective. All of the music and effects called for in this script are on the Combo Package #5 Soundtrack CD, along with the tracks for "The Red Tie Club." You may order it now for $20 plus $1.50 shipping on the Soundtracks Page, or add it to your shopping cart by clicking here. The pre-recorded album version is also on the soundtrack CD to serve as a guide.

All orders are mailed by First Class the next day after getting them, if not the same day!

Getting started late? Like with all the soundtrack CDs, you can get an MP3 download for free when ordering the physical CD. OR, you can get the "Download Only Option" and buy just the MP3 files to download.

Got a question about using a soundtrack? Go here and found out why you should!

BONUS: Listen to the skit as it sounds on the Prime Example album project, "Comedy Cookout," by clicking the play button on the audio player below. Then you can order the album on the Comedy CDs page. (This is only for listening. For performance you will need the Soundtrack CD as listed in the yellow paragraph above.)

(Stan enters as the music plays, and sits down on the couch. He can have some snacks and a soda which he puts on an end table.)

Stan: Aaaah, a lazy autumn afternoon with nothing to do but relax and watch a little TV.

(He picks up a remote from the end table and aims toward the audience as if a TV is in front of him.

The TV sound is heard as the sound on Cut #2 continues. A commercial is playing. Stan leans back on the sofa with his feet stretched out, and his hands behind his head, smiling contentedly.

On the soundtrack, the doorbell rings. Registering some annoyance, Stan switches off the TV and gets up to answer the door.)

Stan: (Opening the door, his annoyance fades when he sees who it is.) Well, Brother and Sister Hill! What a surprise. Come in.

Stan: I can't complain, Pastor. (Shaking hands with Sister Hill.) Hello, Sister Hill! So good to see you.

Sister Hill: Hi, Stan! It's been wonderful seeing you in church every Sunday, and we just wanted to drop by and ask a favor of you.

Stan: Of course! (Motions to the couch.) Here, have a seat! Can I get either of you anything? Something to drink, maybe?

Pastor: (Sitting down beside his wife.) No, thanks. Only have a minute to stay, we were just in the neighborhood and like Susan said, we just wanted to run something by you real quick.

Pastor: Well, as you know, the church's annual Fall Festival is coming up soon, and we need volunteers to help out in various areas. We've chosen most from the sign-up list we posted, but one of the most important positions isn't filled yet.

Pastor: We can't seem to get anyone to be the drama director for the play. It's such an important position, and we've prayed much about it. Your name just seemed to come to mind every time.

(Stan wrinkles his forehead and leans back, as if not liking the suggestion. Sister Hill speaks up quickly to fill the awkward silence.)

Sister Hill: You remember, Sister Calder did it last year, but her family moved away, and no-one else is really qualified, or even interested. We thought that with your background in radio, and acting ability...

Stan: (Holding up his hands.) Whoa, hold on, Pastor. Sure, I did some drama back in high school, but that was a long time ago. I don't think that qualifies me to do anything this big.

Pastor: But that's more experience than anyone else in the church has, and we're really in need here.

Sister Hill: We already have a script, and enough actors, but they need direction from someone that knows how to make it happen.

Stan: I'm sorry, Pastor, and Sister Hill, but I'm just too busy right now to commit to something like that. It takes a lot work to pull off a good play, and I don't have the time. Or, when it comes down to it, the temperment. I'm pretty demanding, and I don't think the drama group would appreciate my telling them what to do.

Pastor: But that's what we're looking for, someone to make this play come to life! With the great script we have, I think a lot of lives could be touched for the Lord.

Stan: I appreciate the offer, and your confidence... but I don't think I'm your man. I'd rather let someone else do it that can do it better. I'm sorry to let you down, but I don't think the Lord could use me for something so important.

Sister Hill: (Gently.) None of us are really worthy of being used by the Lord, Stan. We just have to make ourselves available to Him.

Stan: I tell you what, I'll be there for the play, I'll even run the sound again like last year. That's really my best area of contribution. But thanks for the offer, I'm flattered!

Pastor: (Standing to go, with Sister Hill standing also.) Well, Stan, I had to ask. Everyone thinks you'd made a great director for this play.

Stan: That's nice of them, but I know myself better than they do! I'd goof it up somehow.

Sister Hill: (As they walk to the door.) You know, Stan, the Lord gives each of us abilities to use for His kingdom. If we don't exercise them, they can wither away, and we lose the blessings that we, and others, might have gotten from them.

Stan: (Seeing them to the door, he laughs.) About the only talent I have is for getting into hot water, and in over my head. I don't want to bite off more than I can chew.

Sister Hill: Pray about it, too, Stan. God bless you! (She shakes his hand, and walks out of the door.)

(The Pastor gets a funny look on his face at that, but they shake hands and the Pastor leaves. Stan closes the door behind him.)

Stan: That was nice of them, but I can't do it. (Talking to himself, as if he needs convincing.) They'll find someone else to be the director. Someone better, with more time on their hands. (He sits down on the sofa, picks up the remote and switches the TV back on, then lies down to watch it.)

Stan: They'll find someone that's not so busy as I am. Someone who has time to lay around and do nothing. Me, I've got too much other stuff to do... (Sleepily.) like watch this movie. Looks like a good one.. kinda scary. And after that, maybe... I'll nap a little. Yeah, nap a little... (He closes his eyes as he drifts off, and soon he begins to snore.)

TV Voice #1: "Quickly, Igor, hand me the shovel. We must dig up the body before the storm begins."

TV Voice #2: "Yes, master. This one will be a good one. He's only been buried a few hours. He's practically still warm!"

(They both laugh as digging sounds are heard. As Stan continues to nap, and the TV sounds play on, the lights on stage go down.)

(NOTE TO SOUND TECHNICIAN: Fade up the continuous background effects here, Cut #8 dubbed to another source, as the DREAM MUSIC plays on Cut #3. This signifies the transition from reality to dream/vision as the graveyard effects go from the tinny TV sound to full, "you-are-there" effects. Keep the background sounds going at a good level until Stan wakes up again at the end of the script.)

(Begin Cut #4 on the soundtrack CD, which is an organ playng "Toccata In Fugue." The curtain hiding the cemetary set is drawn back, and the special scene lights come up, as this plays.)

(A sudden thunderclap -on the soundtrack- startles Stan and he sits upright on the sofa. The sight of the cemetary doesn't register at first as he pulls a hand across his face.)

Stan: What!?! Oh, must be the TV, left that movie on when I feel asleep. Scared the dickens out of me, too! Man, I was sleeping really good.

(He looks around at the cemetary groggily, then lies back on the sofa again, turning on his side so that he is facing the audience. After a few seconds his eyes snap open as it sinks in what he saw. He slowly sits up, and almost fearfully, turns his body to look in the direction of the cemetary again. As it finally registers, he gasps and halfway falls back on the sofa in terror.)

(Stan spins on the sofa and stares at the figure that has entered the room behind him. He pushes himself back on the sofa away from the intruder as he speaks.)

Angel: (Walking over to him and standing.) To the first question, I am... a Messenger from the Lord. As to the second, I would think that's obvious.

Stan: (standing angrily.) Do you always answer every question with a confusing answer?

Stan: (After a pause.) That's what I thought. (Looking around the cemetary.) Okay, the walls of my living room now open up onto a cemetary, one that I'm fairly sure wasn't there when I went to sleep. If I'm not dead, and I'm not dreaming, then this must be, I don't know, a vision or something.

Angel: Very good. (He gestures for Stan to join him, and points over to a tombstone.) Follow me.

Stan: (As they slowly walk across the stage, he sticks close to the angel, almost on his heels.) I hate graveyards. Especially at night, and when they're this creepy, and especially when they appear in my living room.

(They stop at a grave, and the Angel picks up a shovel, holding it out to Stan.)

Stan: (Raising his hands.) Again with the trick answers. Okay, it's a shovel, I know they're used for digging. I just hope you aren't telling me to dig up something around here.

Angel: I am. Something has been buried here that must be exhumed. (He extends the shovel handle to Stan, and points to the grave.)

Stan: (Refusing the shovel.) Oh, no, I ain't digging up nothing dead in a cemetary. I've watched enough horror movies to know that's somewhere I don't want to go.

Angel: (Still holding out the shovel handle.) What you must disinter is not dead. At least, not yet.

Stan: A premature burial? Man, you are seriously creeping me out here. (Pushing back the handle.) No way, you do it!

Angel: I cannot. (Swinging the handle back to Stan.) The grave can only be opened by the one who buried that which is in it. Stanley, start digging.

Stan: I've never buried anything but a cat I ran over in my driveway! I know it was dead. But I still wouldn't dig it up!

Stan: Yeah, right, I'm here to learn something. I guess you can't just tell me what it is...

Stan: I thought you'd say something like that. Alright, give it. (He takes the shovel.) Where do I dig?

Stan: (Reading the epitath.) "Here Lies The Talent Of Stan Tallman..." Hey, that's me! I mean, a talent of mine, at least. But I've never buried a talent!

Begin Cut #6 on the sountrack CD. (Dramatic music underscores the revelation of the name on the tombstone, and soon a heartbeat begins to be heard, steadily growing louder under the Angel's lines.)

Angel: Haven't you? Every time you refuse to use a talent for God's glory, when given the opportunity, you throw a shovelful of dirt over it. Until, finally, it lies forgotten, to wither away and decay. But it is not too late for you. Listen... it lives! (He motions to the grave mound.) Unearth it. It may still be revived! Exercise it, and strengthen it through constant use!

Stan: But, I have so much to do, I don't have the time! Besides, there's not much the Lord could do with the little talent I had. There are so many others with so much more! Surely they're more responsible than I am to use them. (He hands the shovel back to the angel.)

Angel: I fear the lesson is lost on you. (He drops the shovel beside the grave.) So be it.

Stan: It's not that I don't care, I just doubt that I'm really that import... (He hears a sound and stops.) What is that? Sounds like a funeral procession.

(Voices are heard, moaning and wailing, as the music on soundtrack Cut #6 continues. A funeral dirge begins playing. A line of people, dressed in dark tattered clothes, walk slowly, very slowly, in single file onto the stage. Chained together, all of their heads are hung in despair and they sway as they approach, groaning. They are heading toward the masoleum.)

Stan: (Gingerly moving closer, he examines their lowered faces in the dim light.) They do look familiar... but I can't place them. Where are they going?

(Suddenly all of the people look up with one accord and moan accusations as they point at him.)

Lost Souls: (Simultaneously, each saying some of the lines.) It's him! He's the one! He's the reason we are here!

Stan: (Recoiling back) What do you mean? I've done nothing to... wait. I know you! (To the angel.) I do know them! These are all people that I've seen at church.. and work! I've seen many of them in the congregation several times!

Lost Souls: It's his fault! He's to blame! Curse you, Stan! We hate you! Why did you do it?

(The first in line arrives at the masoleum entrance, which slowly opens with a creak. Flashing, dancing lights like flame can be seen, as a fog drifts out.)

Stan: (Back beside the angel, looking in horror at the people.) Why do they blame me?

Angel: These are the people that were never reached for the Lord with the talents He gave you. They are your responsibility, for you were meant to do what would have touched their hearts and opened them to His word. Because you have buried your talent alive, they are entering eternity, lost without the Lord.

(The heartbeat continues to grow louder. As he speaks, the first person in line enters the tomb door. They are lost in the fog with a scream.)

Stan: (Frantic, he clutches the Angel's robe.) No! Please, no! I never meant for this to happen! I never knew I could make such a difference! I never realized so much was depending on me!

Angel: The Lord depends upon each of his children to bring in their share of the harvest of souls. If you shirk it, who will do it?

(The Lost Souls continue to enter the tomb, screaming as they enter and are swallowed up by the fiery smoke.)

Stan: (Covering his ears to shut out the screams, he falls to his knees.) I can't take it! Please, no more!

Angel: They will cry out those very same words for an eternity. Should you be spared the knowledge?

(The heartbeat, the wailing and the music reaches a crescendo and Stan, clutching his ears in an attempt to shut out the sounds, staggers up and out of the cemetary and falls onto the couch, hiding his face. As he does, the lights in the cemetary begin to fade.)

Stan: (Sobbing into the cushions, he is rocking with remorse.) No, no, no! Lord, I'm sorry! Forgive me, and give me another chance to make a difference!

(The lights go down and the curtain is drawn back over the scene. Once closed, the stage lights are brought back up.

Stan is tossing on the couch, in his sleep. He is on his back, with an arm over his eyes.)

Stan: (Groaning in his sleep.) No, don't let it happen! I'll use them... (He suddenly wakes and sits bolt upright on the couch in an attitude of terror and shouts the words:) I'll use them!

(IMPORTANT: The above action should coincide with the climactic finale of the music and effects on the soundtrack. They end as he wakes.)

(NOTE TO SOUND ENGINEER: Quickly turn completely down the background sounds on cassette that have been playing, as Stan wakes up!)

(Looking around frantically, he realizes he was asleep. He leans back over the couch to look in the direction of the cemetary but it is gone. Running his hands through his hair, he relaxes a little.)

Stan: It was a dream... That's all, a dream. (With a sign of relief.) Thank God!

(Switching off the TV, he quickly reaches for the phone and dials a number. The phone dialing effects are on the soundtrack, cut #6, which is still playing.)

Pastor: Hi, Stan! It was great visiting with you this afternoon. What can I do for you?

(Begin Cut #7 now, the emotional end music, and let play til the end of the scene.)

Listen, thanks for your visit earlier, and your offer. I've reconsidered, and I'd be honored to direct the play.

Pastor: Stan, that's great! We were just praying you'd come around. You know, you're the only one that could do it as good as it should be done.

Stan: Thanks for the vote of confidence. I don't know how it will turn out, but I promise I'll do my best.

Pastor: That's all the Lord asks from any of us. By the way, why the sudden change of heart concerning the drama?

Stan: (Looking around at where the vision took place.) Let's just say that I had a... "dramatic" revelation! I'll head over now to look at the script and start planning. Thanks again, and goodbye! (He hangs up and stands, then looks to heaven.) And thank you, Lord. Tell that messenger of yours... that I finally got the message.

(The end of the music on Cut #7 concludes as he walks off with a lighter step and a smile.)

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